Good-Bye
by Just-Write621
Summary: Everyone dies. Its inevitable. The story of Mary's passing, one way that I see it.
1. The phone call

_*****I was going to make this a one shot added to my first story, but once I started writing I couldn't stop...it isn't written to follow the show much at all, besides the main idea of it. The way the family acts, always makes me think Mary died much earlier in life. I just lost my own mom in March, which might be why I wanted to write this. Maybe I wish things were different? Maybe I want the family dynamic they have? Maybe its just therapy? Who knows. Anyway... I don't own anything except the words. Enjoy!*****_

"Dad. Whats wrong? Where's mom?" Asked Erin frantically. She knew when her father called her out of class, when it was so close to the end of the semester, something had to be wrong.

"Erin, sweetie" started her father, pausing to steady his breathing. Erin didn't have to see him, to know her father was crying. The only times she can remember seeing her father this emotional was at his children's weddings, when Danny left for the Marine Corp, and when her grandmother, his mother, passed away. That fact alone, scared her more then anything.

"Erin, can you please go pick up your brothers from school and meet your mother and I at home? We will explain once you get here."

"But daddy," she started to say. Her father cut her off, "Erin please. I need you to do this." His voice sounded almost pleading, Erin knew not to press any further.

"Ok daddy", she said quietly. "Let me grab Nicki from daycare and Ill head to the schools. Ill be there in about an hour"

"Thank you sweetie. See you soon."

Erin made a quick phone call to Linda, her sister in law, married to her older brother Danny. Danny was on leave from the police dept and serving in Iraq with the marine corps. "Linda, it's Erin, have you talked to mom or dad today?"

" Yes actually, they stopped by emergency after her doctor appt, your mom asked me to come over after shift. Is everything alright?"

" Did she seem ok? Either of them? Dad just called me out of class, asked me to pick up the boys, and head over there."

" Well now that you mention it, your mom seemed a little teary, but she has acted that way around me ever since Danny left. I get done in just a few, let me finish my paperwork, and Ill meet you over there." said Linda thinking back.

"Thanks Linda, I have a bad feeling about this." Erin stated as she hung up her phone.


	2. The Talk

45 minutes later, Erin and her brothers were sitting in the family living room like they had done so many times growing up. Erin was placed in between Jamie and 17 year old Joe on the couch. Each one holding one of her hands, glancing nervously back and forth between their parents. Linda was seated in a chair, rocking 1 year old Nikki, thinking, no matter what comes out of their mouths, I have to be strong. Its what Danny would do.

"Kids, your mother had an appointment today with the oncologist." Erin immediately started crying, causing alarm in both of the younger boys.

"Dad?" Questioned Jamie.

"Boys, about 5 years ago, your mom got really sick. She had cancer, do you remember that?" Joe shook his head yes, tears threatening, but not yet falling.

"So what does that have to do with now daddy?" asked the youngest, most naive child. Jamie never wanted to think bad on anything. In his eyes, everything was good. Mary just sat there, crying, never saying a word.

"Kids, I'm so sorry, but the cancer has come back. After being in remission for almost 5 years, the doctors realized they missed it. Its aggressive and unique."

"Pop? Whats that mean?" Asked Joe quietly, "what exactly are you telling us?"

Mary stood up, with a sudden calm coming over her. "My sweet children, the doctors said there is nothing more to do. We just wait. If its in the Lord's will, if He is ready for me, then I am ready to see him as well."

Joe jumped to his feet yelling "but what if we're not ready for you to go?" He ran to his mother's opened arms, as the tears slowly started falling from his eyes.

"Shhh baby. Its ok. Now is not the time to be angry with God. You can be sad. But please dont be angry."

"Frank, how long?" Linda suddenly asked. Knowing she was thinking of her husband being in Iraq, wondering if he would have the time to make it home, his only response was "we need to make some calls."

It didn't take long for everyone to realize what their father meant when he said those words to Linda. "But, he will be home in three months dad." Argued Joe.

Jamie's reality of what was happening became too much for him to handle. He jumped up off the couch, new tears flowing out of his eyes. "No, you can't die mama, it's not fair" he screamed, as he turned and flew up the stairs. No one moved, yet the all listened, hearing the door slam, Jamie fall, and nothing but loud crying through the floor.

Joe started to follow his best friend up the stairs, when his father stopped him. He pulled Joe into a hug, and that was all it took for him to give in to the sobs he was trying to keep at bay. His father held him tightly for a few minutes, his own emotion now pouring out of his eyes. Suddenly Joe pushed Frank away, "no" he said. "I refuse to believe this. You cant give up mom." and he went out the back door. Linda and Erin looked at each other, then to Mary and Frank.

"Lets just let the boys process this." said Mary quietly "I'm going to go lie down for a bit. I'm quite tired myself." Holding her hand up to Frank, signalling she wanted him to stay put and explain everything to the girls when she left the room.

"Daddy?" Asked Erin her voice quivering on the word. Frank turned to the two girls who were now sitting, holding each other on the couch.

"Princess," he started to say before giving in to the emotion. Tears started pouring down his face as he spit out the words "3-5 weeks. My beautiful wife. 3-5 weeks." Seeing the strong man break down like this, shook both girls, and it didn't take long for them to try to hold and console their father. "Linda!" Frank said suddenly looking up. "Please, we need Danny. We need our son home. The kids need him. I...I need him." Linda asked to use Franks office stating she would try to get in touch with Danny as soon as possible. Erin excused herself to the upstairs, to check on her baby brother.

"I don't understand" cried 11 year old Jamie to his older sister.

"I don't either buddy" admitted his sister, pulling the small child into her lap, hugging him tightly. Usually, the youngest and smallest Reagan would fight against being held like a baby, but the comfort of his sister's arms is just what he needed at the moment. She held him until his sobs quieted to whimpers, then set him gently on his bed. He had cried himself to sleep. Looking down at her youngest brother, knowing there was nothing she could do to stop his pain made her own tears start silently falling down her cheeks.

Linda was in Franks office wondering what to do, she didn't know who to contact to get in touch with Danny the quickest way. She started with writing a simple email. "Danny, we need to talk. Call me." She knew Danny was able to check his email at least every two days, so if nothing else, she would hear from him soon. Without Linda knowing, Frank was also making phone calls, he still had some friends, from his military days, who might be able to get to Danny quicker. Now it was just a waiting game for his call.


	3. Iraq

Three days later:

"Reagan, Sergeant wants to see you in command." Danny looked up questioning. But didn't say anything. He grabbed his equipment and headed for the command center on their mock base. Danny had been serving for almost 2 years, spending the past 15 months in Iraq. He was set to go home, and back to his life as a husband and police officer in just a short three months. The only time the sergeant asked to speak with anyone privately was when there was something happening back home. "Sarg?" Danny said entering the tent and giving a light salute. "Danny, have a seat. I don't know exactly how or what to say. You're going home buddy. I've arranged for you to call home tonight, either your parents or your wife. We are trying to get things ready for you to head home as soon as possible. The soonest the kinks will work out is going to be about a 10-14 days."

"Sergeant Parker, sir, I don't understand. our tour is up in three months, why am I going now? I can hold out for the rest of the deployment." Danny starts arguing.

"Reagan, call home." Says his sergeant handing him the phone. "Come and find me after if you need me." Danny is still incredibly confused by a this, and unsure what is going on. He looks at his watch and decides he will try his wife first. Linda has always been his rock, and if anyone can make sense of this situation it's her. The phone rings 4 times. Danny is just about to hang out when he hears her voice. "Hello?"

"Hey baby" He says dryly. At the sound of his voice, tears automatically spring to her eyes. "

"Danny," she says relieved. We've been waiting for your call." Danny can hear people in the background, and he swears he hears his sister crying.

"Linda…?" he asked his voice shaking as the sudden worry is going through his body. "Whats wrong? Is it dad? Why am I being sent home early." Of course Danny's first thought is something happened to his detective father.

"No honey, dad is fine. Here, he wants to talk to you." Danny is taken back, surprised that his father is also with Linda.

"Hello son." His father's deep voice came through the line. "Are you well?"

"Dad what the hell is going on? Your all scaring me."

"Son did they make arrangements for you to be home?" Frank questioned.

"They are working on it" Danny said quickly. "Could be a week to two though before Im there. Dad whats going on." Danny heard his father swear under his breath.

"They can't get you home sooner?" He asked sounding frustrated.

"Dad!" Danny yelled into the phone. "What the hell is going on?" He heard his father take a deep breath.

"It's your mother, son. The cancer is back. And its aggressive." Frank took a moment to clear his throat of the sob that was threatening to come out.

"How aggressive dad?" asked Danny quietly as the reality of what his father said was hitting him hard.

"I'm sorry son, I didn't want to say this to you over the phone. You can't be distracted."

"Pop, how aggressive?" Pressed Danny.

"Nothing left to do. 3-5 weeks," His father quickly replied in a voice barely louder than a whisper. Danny felt the hot sting of tears in his eyes. He knew he wouldn't be able to hold them back if he had to talk. "Son. Are you still with me?" Asked his father suddenly worried about his eldest sons well being.

"Mmhmm." Danny replied trying to regain composure. After a few minutes of silence. Danny heard his father say, "here's Linda, I love you son."

"Danny, Danny baby. Are you there?"

At the sound of his wife's concern, the tears started to fall. "Linda, She needs to hold on. Tell me its not that bad."

"Oh Danny I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Linda, I have to go now."

"Ok baby, keep close touch. Let us know what is going on."

"I will. I love you."

"Love you more." said Linda, she heard the click of the phone and the line go dead.


	4. the beginning of the end

The cancer was taking over Mary's body in ways no one thought possible. Within a week Mary was completely bedridden. Frank had taken time off from work to care for her, he also took the boys out of school so they could spend as much quality time with their mother as they could. They were all hoping Danny was going to make it home in time. It had been 9 days since they had last heard from him when he finally called.

"Dad? How is she?"

"Its bad son. I'm afraid its..." his fathers voice cracked and he had to stop talking.

"Dad, I'm trying, we're all trying. I'm leaving tonight, will take couple days...I'll be home soon. She just has to hold on...please dad" pleaded Danny. "She has to hold on 'til I get there."

"I know son" was all Frank could say.

Marys eyes started to open. "Danny?" She said very quiet and weak. "Let me." Frank walks to Mary's bedside and holds the phone to Mary's ear.

"Mama?" asked Danny, the tears he'd been holding back were now silently falling down his cheeks. "Hi mama. You hold on ok? I love you ma. I'm coming home. Just be strong and hold on." Danny begged his mother.

A slow calm smile appeared on Mary's face hearing her first borns voice. Quiet as a church mouse, and still very weak, but everyone in the room heard her say "shhh baby, its ok. Be still. I love you." She closed her eyes and Frank took the phone away. All he heard on the other end was the deep sobs of his oldest son.

"We love you son," said Frank calmly, "hurry home." He hung up the phone quickly, and hurried to the bathroom before his own emotions got out of control.


	5. Jamie

The next day Mary asked to see each of her children separately. As she had done so many times before. Mary always knew her children needed their own time with her, without any distractions. To focus on just them.

She started with Jamie. Jamie being the youngest crawled right into her bed beside her, snuggled on her chest, letting her hold him tight. She couldn't talk very well, it made her very tired and weak, so instead she had written a letter to each of the kids. She wanted them to read each letter aloud, then they would have it to keep as a final gift from her.

My sweet Jamison,  
You were my little surprise monster. I never thought I was going to have you. You Jamie, are my miracle. The past 11 years with you has made my life complete. You were the missing piece to our family puzzle, and I love you more then you could possibly know. You have such a strong sense of humanity in you Jamison. I want you to keep that. Always see the good in people. Don't get caught up in all the bad that this family talks about. Please baby, use your goodness for more than wearing blue. I love my family, and wouldn't change anything about them, but for you my Jamie, I want more. A doctor. A lawyer. A priest. Anything that will keep you, YOU. Jamie, anytime you feel like you need mama, go to Linda or Erin. They might be your sisters, but while you're still young, they can guide you and love you like your mama would. Be more than brothers with the boys, let them be your friends. Brothers can be your best friends in life. They will always be there for can protect each other. Lean on each other. Be good to your daddy, especially when you're becoming a teenager and he is trying to keep you safe. Always remember the things he says and does are to keep you safe. We love you and don't want anything to happen to you. My precious baby, I wish I could be there to watch you grow, but I know you will make me proud. You already do, everyday.

I love you sweet Jamie.

Forever and ever.

Mama

Both Mary and Jamie were crying by the time he reached the end of the letter. He laid at his mother side until his father came in to take over. Frank gave Mary a few minutes alone before sending Joe in to see her.


	6. Joe

Joe walked into Mary's room determined. Determined not to cry. Determined to be a strong Reagan. Determined to be like Danny. Mary opened her eyes, and smiled at her boy standing in front of her. "Jojo, come sit "she said quietly patting the bed next to her side. The use of his old nickname that only his mom called him brought instant tears to his eyes. He shook his head as he sat, as if to shake the tears away. "Jojo," whispered Mary, "it's ok to be upset." There was nothing more he could do, all his determination left his body, and the tears flowed.

"Mama, how are we going to live without you here?" He asked pleading for an answer.

"You'll move on my boy, it will hurt, but you'll move on. Just look back on the past 17 years and remember us. Our family. Read." She instructed handing him a letter. Joe took the letter, wiped the tears from his eyes, and began to read.

Dearest Jojo,  
You were my baby boy for 6 years, and I loved every minute of it. My baby you will always be. Every since you were able to talk, you were my peacekeeper. You always hated when people fight and argue. You make me so proud. You never cease to amaze me in the way you are with your brothers and sister. I know you are going to do great things. You'll follow your blood with being a cop. I worry but I know you will be a great one. You have the sense in you to do the right thing. Always stay safe. Keep your siblings in line Jojo. Don't let Danny harp on Erin and Jamie too much. And when they are arguing, make sure they always make up before nightfall. Keep being Jamie's friend. He is going to need you so much over the next few years. Help your pop. Be a good boy. I love you so much my Jojo.

I will always be with you,

Mama

Joe's voice cracked on the last words, and he looked at his mother lying in her bed, eyes closed but the tears streaming down her cheeks. He knew she was weak, but she still opened her arms and let him fall onto her chest sobbing. "I meant it Joe, Ill always be with you."

Twenty minutes later, Joe knew he had to let his sister in to see their mother. So he gently kissed her cheek, and whispered goodnight mama. Ill see you in the morning.


	7. Erin

Erin walked in, holding a sleeping Nikki. She handed Nikki to Mary, and let her coddle the baby for a while. "You're a good mom" Mary says quietly to Erin.

"Well, I learned from the best" stated Erin matter of fact. Her mother then hands her an envelope, she opens it carefully and starts to read.

Dearest Erin,

My only daughter, my princess, my best friend. I'm proud, so proud of the woman you have become. Your strong, independent, smart and beautiful. I know things are hard, with a new marriage, baby, and law school, but if anyone can do it, it's you. Teach Nikki all the things I would have helped teach her. How to bake, cook, how to love someone, how to forgive. Tell her about me when she is older, tell her how happy I was to be a grandma, and how every time I held her, I felt pure love flowing from her to me. Please Erin, help Daddy keep this house running. Keep having Sunday dinners, you kids need to regroup with your daddy and with each other at least once a week. Watch over your brothers. They will need you. As you grow up, don't ever lose contact with your family. Without family, there is nothing. Please Erin, do this for me. Watch over Jamie, make sure he does well in school. His pure heart is not made to enforce the law. He is too kind. He would get hurt. I don't want my baby getting hurt. He needs to stay out of the family business. Please with your fight on justice, stay on the right side of things. Don't let your job cause any issues with your brothers and dad. Especially Danny, his passion for his job takes over. I love you Erin. And I know you will do greatness. I wish I would be here to help you along the way but I cant. I will always be watching you, and I am so incredibly proud of you, know that much is true. Thank you for being my daughter and my friend.

Love,

Mom

Erin looked at her mom with tears in her eyes. "I promise mama, I promise to take care of the boys. Nikki will know so much about you. Ill do everything you asked. Just don't leave yet mama." She falls on the bed crying. Mary reaches a hand out and rubs Erin's back, trying her the only way she can.

"I know you will baby." She whispers with a smile on her face.


	8. Linda

They are all in the living room, other. No one is really talking, yet they don't want to leave each others presence. They are taking comfort with just being together, a family unit. Erin walks down the stairs, visibly still upset, and says "Linda, mom would like to see you." Linda pauses to hold her sister, only by marriage, but for this family that is enough.

"I love you sis" she whispered as she heads up the stairs.

"Knock knock" she says quietly when she reaches the door.

"Come in sweetness."

Linda smiled hearing her mother in law use the phrase she started long ago. "Mary, you haven't called me that in forever" She said smiling as she sat down at Mary's side.

"Well that's what you are, you always have been. Danny is tough, rough around the edges. Doesn't show his softer side often. You are his weakness, his sweetness. Your kind heart brings out the best in him, when the job and life brings out the worst." Mary pauses, reaches to her side and hands Linda an envelope "I've written a letter to my son, I'm afraid I wont be here to give it to him. If this is true, he is going to need you more than ever. You will need to put the pieces back together when he breaks. I know my boy, and I know he will blame himself for not being here with me. Please make sure he doesn't. Be his rock."

"I will" said Linda crying," I promise."

"Linda, sweet girl, you're my daughter and I love you. Can you do me one more thing?"

"Anything" whispered Linda.

"Be a mother to Jamie and Joe, Joe won't need it as much, he is almost a grown man. But my sweet Jamie, he is going to need a mother's touch, a mother love, a mothers voice to get him through the next few years."

"I will" said Linda strongly, "I promise Ill take care of all your boys."

Mary smiled. "I know you will." she said closing her eyes. Linda stood up, then turned, bent over, kissed Mary's cheek and whispered "I love you ma."

Later that night, when the house was quiet, and all the kids were sleeping, Frank and Mary were still up, holding each other not wanting the morning to come.

"Take care of my babies" pleaded Mary.

"I will" answered Frank kissing the top of her head "and they will take care of each other."

"Don't let them stray, from God or the family. You need to stay together. Attend mass together, eat together, holidays together. You need to stay together"

"We will baby, I promise you. Ill keep our kids together"

"And keep yourself safe. You're all they have left, don't be shot again or anything stupid like that."

Chucking at Mary's bluntness he whispers "I wont darling, I'll be careful, and stay safe."

"Frank, honey, take care of yourself!" She exclaimed suddenly, "fall in love again."

"Mary" said Frank sternly, "We're not discussing this tonight. I just want to be here, holding you. Loving you." And they stayed that way til morning.

The kids stayed with her in her room the entire next day. They noticed how weak she was. Her eyes barely opened. But they stayed. They softly played her favorite took turns holding her hands and talking to her. They hugged and comforted each other. Mary died later that night, her family by her bedside as she took her last breath.

The following morning all the kids were in the living room, just sitting, feeling, waiting. Waiting for direction. Waiting for their grandpa. Waiting for Danny. Just waiting. Waiting and crying. Suddenly Linda's cell phone rings, she pauses a moment, and says hello as calmly as she can.

"Linda I'll be at JFK in 3 hours can you come get me please?" It was Danny. While they waited for his call, Frank decided they would not tell him of his mother's passing over the phone. He wanted Linda there with his son when his world crashed down.

"Yes baby. Ill be there."

"Okay", he said quickly " gotta go, but 3 hours. I love you."

"Love you more" she managed to reply before the tears started again.

Frank took Linda into his arms and wrapped her in a fatherly embrace. "I know it's hard, but I don't want my son falling apart, on an airplane, alone."

"I know" whispered Linda. An hour later she headed to the airport, wanting to have time to control her emotions before she had to be there for Danny. She found the terminal he would be coming in at, and sat to wait.


	9. Danny

Two hours later Linda saw Danny walking through the gate. His head turning from side to side searching for his family. His eyes finally seeing Linda, he drops his bags and pulls her into a strong embrace. They hear a few claps, and people buzzing around them. Linda realizes Danny is still in his uniform, and people think this is a normal military homecoming. Linda whispers in Danny's ear "let's get out of here babe." Danny not wanting to let his wife go, responds by holding her closer. She feels his shoulders shaking, and realized he was crying. 18 months being away, away from his family, away from his love, seeing what he saw over there, his mom being sick, all the bundled up emotions he was feeling were at the surface and bubbling over.

"Not here baby" Linda whispered. Breaking loose from Danny's grip, she bent over to grab his bag, took him by the hand and started to lead him out of the airport.

"I missed you so much Linda. Hows mom? How are the kids? Dad? Linda? Talk to me."

Linda was staring straight ahead briskly walking. Determined to get him into the parking garage, safely sitting alone in their car before she would say a word.

"Linda stop, I'm tired, I've been traveling for days."

"The car is right around the corner Danny."

They made it to the car, Linda unlocked the doors, told Danny to get in, and walked to the trunk to put away his bag. She paused for a moment, to catch her breath and regain her thoughts. She had no idea what she was going to say. Finally Danny opened his door and asked if she was joining him. Linda took one more deep breath and walked to the driver's side door. Once she was in the car Danny started bombarding her with questions.

"Baby what's going on? I wanna go home. You haven't said anything. Can we go see mom? Is she home or in the hospital?"

Linda looked up, with tears in her eyes, "baby" she starts slowly not what to say.

"Linda?" Pressed Danny his voice cracking slightly.

"I'm so sorry baby" she said as two tears trail down her face. "Its too late."

Danny suddenly looked up to Linda's eyes. "What's too late?"

"Babe. Its too late" she said again grabbing his hands in hers. "You're too late. Mary's gone." Her voice no louder than a whisper.

"What? I don't…" he started to say when the reality of what she sunk in. "I'm..." he started, tears filling his eyes as he looked up at Linda, "too late?"

Linda put her arms around Danny and pulled him to her shoulder as his tears turned to silent sobs. "I'm here baby, it's ok." She whispers, rubbing his back and holding him tightly. Linda and Danny stayed like that for 20 minutes. When Danny's sobs quieted, Linda finally pulled away and looked at him. She cupped his face in her hands, studying his features. His skin was dark and rough from being in the desert heat for so long. Eyes sad, tired and red rimmed. Slight stubble on his chin from traveling. Linda rubbed the pad of her thumb over a stray tear that suddenly falls from his eye.

"Baby" she finally began to speak, "she knew you tried. Your mom knew you loved her and wanted to be here." Linda leaned over and pulled an envelope out of the glove box. She handed it to Danny before she started speaking again.

"Danny I know you, and I know what your thinking. You can't blame yourself for this baby. It's not your fault. Your mom wrote all you kids a letter. There were things she wanted you to know. They're all written in there."

Danny looked at the envelope Linda placed in his hands. In his mother's neat handwriting across the middle of it read, Danny-Boy. He smiled, and choked back another sob at the sight of that. "I always hated that nickname as a kid, as I got older, if I was upset and brooding, mom would always call me that when trying to get me to talk." He flipped the envelope over and started to tear it open.

"You don't want to wait til your home?" Linda questioned "I can leave you alone to read in private."

"Babe, I've been gone for almost 2 years, you're not leaving my sight for a long, long time." replied Danny smiling again. He looked down and seeing his mother's words on the paper made the tears start again. "Linda, can you?" He asked handing her the sheet of paper.

Danny-Boy,

If I did not give you this letter myself, that means you did not make it home in time. The thought of that breaks my heart Danny. I want to hold you and tell you everything is going to be alright, I don't want you to blame yourself. You were doing the right thing. Serving your country and I am so incredibly proud of that. I love you so much Danny. You're my first born baby. I was so happy when your daddy and I found out we were having you. We had been married for 2 years and I wanted a baby in the worse way. When we found out you were a boy, your daddy was so happy he cried. (crazy I know, Reagan men don't cry happy tears) "He is going to be just like me" Your father always used to boast. He was right, you know, you are just like him. Strong, loyal, handsome, angry, smart, protective, determined, attentive, kind. You always do the right thing. You never falter on what is right and wrong. You are always out to get the bad guys. And you always do. I am so proud that you are, in fact, your father's son. But now I am gone, and I need you to be your mother's son a little bit. I need you to be sensitive, to yourself, and to your brothers and sister. Let yourself feel, and them them open up to you about their feelings. They are going to need their big brother to help them through this. Jamie and Joe are going to need you a lot in the future. Please be there for them! Take care of my babies. Help daddy watch over the family. Love each other. Danny, please make sure Jamie doesn't become a cop. I don't want your life for him. He isn't made like the rest of my men. He isn't built for all the bad. Take care of everyone. I know I am rambling, but I need you to promise me you're going to help. Help make them strong. Don't be too hard on them. But help them. I love you so much Danny, I am so sorry I am leaving too soon. Your a wonderful son, and husband and brother and I know you are going to be a wonderful daddy when the day comes.

I love you son, and I always will,

Mama

Linda finished the letter, folding back neatly and placing it back in the envelope. She turned and finally looked at Danny, who while she was reading had buried his head in his hands. Linda placed her arms around him, once again holding him, while he lost any control that he had left.


	10. Home

They drove the ride back to his parents house in silence, Danny holding Linda's hand so tightly, as if it was the only thing keeping him together. As they pulled up on the familiar street, Danny turned to Linda.

"I cant do this. I can't go in there. Its not fair. My brothers and sister were here, they watched her suffer. I should have been here." he said, his voice shaking.

"Danny, listen to me, they don't blame you for not being here. If anything they feel for you, for being away, suffering alone."

He took what she said to heart and slowly opened his door and started walking. He paused when he reached the front door, it'd been so long, he didn't know what to do. Questioning himself, do I knock or just enter? Linda stepped up behind him, placed one arm around him and swung open the door with the other arm. "Don't be scared," she whispered "this is your home." They walked into the house together.

Frank hearing the car doors shut, but no one entering the house was standing at the door ready to answer when it knocked. It took him by surprise, and brought instant tears to his eyes when he realized it was his son. He didn't say a word, just opened his arms and pulled his eldest into a strong hug. Both men were crying as Danny clung to the back of his father's shirt as if his life depended on it, his father was holding him up in the embrace. Finally Danny spoke, relieving the silence. "I'm so sorry" he choked out.

" Nonsense." said Frank sternly gripping him by the shoulders but holding him out to look at him. "Son, you have nothing to apologize for." That was all it took for Danny's heart wrenching sobs to take over again. Danny allowed his father to lead him to the couch where they sat together. Frank holding his oldest son, his wife's baby, rocking him until his tears stopped.


End file.
